20/24 BITES
Handling awkward silence
This module is a part of a larger collection of bite-sized learning on facilitating social learning spaces.
This collection of learning bites was created by Danida Fellowship Centre together with Beverly and Etienne Wenger-Trayner and produced by Grape and Brand By Hand. Photos used in the collection were taken by @Crawfurd Media, @E Pictures Media Ltd, @Daniel Samwel and Danida Fellowship Centre, supplemented with Stock Photos.
““If people don’t care enough about the question or the topic, then they’re not going to say anything.””Beverly Wenger-Trayner
Reflection exercise – Awkward silence: What would you do?
You just heard Joshua, Beverly and Etienne talk about what can happen when a conversation doesn’t take off – even in a well-prepared format like a fishbowl.
Sometimes, there’s silence. And it feels… awkward.
30-second reflection:
- Think of a topic you genuinely care about.
- Now imagine you’re holding a conversation space to explore an issue related to that topic – and people don’t respond right away.
- How does that feel?
- What do you do?
Work document
Use the work document here to write down your thoughts if you’d like.
Set the scene – prepare the ground for good dialogue
Talk to people in advance. What’s keeping them up at night? Where would a good conversation with peers help? Ask them why this topic matters to them.
- Share what you found out in pre-meeting conversations.
- Warm up the group with a café-style check-in or pair conversations.
- Ask 1–2 participants ahead of time if they’d be willing to start the discussion.
- Create a welcoming tone, or invite the participants to start the discussion. Provide a reflection document that participants can write in.
“Even before the conversation starts, you’re building a sense of trust and shared ownership.”
Embrace the silence – silence isn’t always a problem
- Invite silence. Ask people to think in silence about some aspect of the topic on a post-it before you start the discussion.
- Welcome the silence. It may signal deep thought – not disinterest.
- Try saying: “Let’s take a moment to reflect – no need to rush,” and check that people are clear what they are doing.
- Don’t jump in too quickly. Silence can open space for others to step forward.
- Use your instinct: Is the topic too intimate, new, or challenging? Or is it relevant, topical, and worth addressing? Let that guide your pacing.
Tools to support reflection
- Give people time to write down their reflections in a shared reflection document.
- Pair people up to discuss quietly before sharing out.
- Hand out simple prompt cards or use a physical toolkit if in person.
When it stalls: adjust
- Check your question: Is it too abstract or not relevant enough? Try reframing.
- Switch from “What do you think?” to “Have you ever experienced…”
- Be ready to pivot – move to another prompt or let the session pause.
“Silence doesn’t mean failure – it may be the pause that learning needs.”
Café-style formats invite shared storytelling and informal learning
- Help participants feel seen and heard.
- Gather insights into the challenges and perspectives in the room.
- These can shape the direction of deeper discussions later.
“It’s not just a warm-up – it’s groundwork for meaningful dialogue.”
Avoid an empty start – and keep the flow going
- Always begin with at least two people in the centre.
- Choose participants who care about the topic – this sets the tone.
- “Plant seeds” by inviting a few in advance to step in if needed.
- Don’t be afraid to end early if the conversation feels complete.
“It’s about creating momentum – not filling time.”
